FOCUS

  A family's purpose (in

   western culture) consists of   

   the living, nourishing,

   sharing and development of 

   life, built on a strong, solid

   relationship with each other.

   All actions are generated

   from those healthy

   connections & are  

   characterized by love,

   acceptance of individuality,

   trust and continual 

   negotiation, to make those

   individual differences blend. 

   They have worked out an

   approach, incorporating  

   their individual differences,  

   into a new unified, caring, 

   consistent, respectful  

   approach to each other, to  

   their children & other  

   people, using consensus.

  

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Communicating      

   The most important quality. Get to know one another by talking

   and listening. Learn to respond, rather than react. Use family

   meal time for conversation between all members of the family.

Affirming and Supporting      

  All family members must express appreciation for and give praise

   to one another. Do not pressure with unrealistic expectations.

Respecting Others        

   Start with respect for self, then learn to respect individual 

   differences within the family. Learn to live with one another.

   (Respect is not the same as approval.)

Trusting        

   Begins with parents who trust each other deeply. Give children

   opportunities to earn trust, & help them to accept responsibility

   for their own behavior.

Respecting Privacy      

   Respect the right to be alone, to be different, and to change.

   Expand mutually negotiated rules as children mature.

Getting Help        

   Even the best of families have problems. Seek help in the early

   stages of a problem. Not all problems can be solved within the

   family.  When necessary, seek professional assistance.

Sharing Time      

   Lack of time and energy is your family's worst enemy. Develop a

   sense of play and humor. Learn to balance private time and

   collective leisure time. Prioritize your activities and make time

   for one another.

Fostering Responsibility    

  Exhibit a sense of shared responsibility. As children grow,

   gradually give them more responsibility. This means more than  

   doing chores, but not necessarily orderliness and perfection.

   The consequences of irresponsibility are used as valuable lessons.

Teaching Morals        

    Parents need to teach clear and specific guidelines about right

    and wrong. Each family has different values, but the parents

    should agree on the values they consider most important. Avoid  

    inconsistency between example and teaching.

Sharing Traditions & Spirituality  

   Family rituals and traditions give us a sense of stability and a

   sense of belonging. The potential for satisfying family

   relationships is far greater among spiritually oriented families

   than among those who do not share a faith/ deep belief system.   

   Regularly attend appropriate groups, together. Pass on beliefs in 

   positive and meaningful ways.

Valuing Service        

    Serve others, whether inside or outside of your family. Be

    responsive to others' needs, without over-doing.

    Keep volunteer time under control.