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   You’ve based your decisions & choices on 

   your early training, which was incomplete,

   inappropriate & often just plain wrong!   

   That’s not your fault!  

   Everyone follows their programming.

   As a result of this distorted training, 

   ACoAs come into adulthood with weak

   personal boundaries, a deep fear of

   abandonment & crippling self-hate.

   The nasty ‘Greek chorus” in our head

   tells us that we’re unattractive,  

   unlovable, boring, fraudulent, stupid &

   without hope. 

                  

                                The reality is that

                                we truly are: 

                                     Damaged, 

                                        NOT Defective

                                      

   You see, if you were defective - it  would

   mean that you had been born ‘bad’,

   broken, useless.  It would be impossible

   to expect anything good from such a

   person - like cracked china coming out of 

   the kiln - it gets thrown away. 

   However,  this does NOT apply to people. 

   Damage CAN be healed.

   There’s a saying: ‘God doesn’t make  

   garbage!’  Every person is valuable - part

   of the greater whole & precious to

   Higher Power. That includes YOU!  You 

   don’t have to be religious or a believer -  

   just know that you have worth - even if 

   your family couldn’t or wouldn’t see it.

♡ TO ALL ACOAS *

*ACOAS = ADULT-CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLIC, ABANDONING, ABUSIVE, NARCISSISTIC FAMILIES

   YOU KNOW HOW YOU’D LIKE 

   YOUR LIFE TO BE -- right?

   A fulfilling career, loving relationships,  

   less pressure, a little fun... and you’ve

   been trying, struggling, obsessing, but not

   much has changed.  Maybe you’ve become   

   frustrated & depressed.

   You grew up around chaos, addictions, 

   criticism, rage, depression, neglect &

   illness & years of abuse.

   You learned to survive by adapting to

   what ‘they’ seemed to want, so you 

   cobbled together a set of behaviors as

   best you could, with very little help, which

   allowed  you to survive - but not thrive.

   You became a ‘human doing’ instead of a 

   human being.

   AND, you’ve been dealing with the world

   (& yourself) in that same old way ever 

   since, never quite getting what you need

   or want - & alternately thinking that it’s:

    a)  somehow all your fault, or
   b)  the universe is against you !

               Either way, it hurts!  

   So, WHAT CAN YOU DO?

   Well, actions that lead to any type of

   success are usually the exact ‘Positive-

   Opposite’ of your life-long patterns. 

   You say you’ve tried to do things

   differently, to no avail?

   I believe you! Just one problem - you’ve

   probably been doing the exact

  ‘Negative - Opposites’, and with great

   effort & sincerity!

   You may have swung from isolation to

   clinging, from totally goofing off to

   workaholism, from poverty to  

   overspending, from starving to stuffing  

   yourself, from deprivation to promiscuity,

   etc - back & forth, year after year, in a  

   vicious cycle.

   You’ve based your decisions & choices on 

   your early training, which was incomplete,

   inappropriate & often just plain wrong! 

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