"Good Voices"

INNER CHILD

Good Inner Voices

IMMATURE ‘EXECUTIVE’
MOST people (70-80 %) are run
internally run by the combination
of their bad Pig Parent * (introject)
& their wounded Inner Child **
because of their inadequate,
neglectful or abusive upbringing.

*PP voice always starts with “You ...”
**WC voice starts with “I....”

If you listen carefully, you’ll begin to hear one   or the other ‘voice’ in the people around you,
as well as in movies, music, books...everywhere!

IN RECOVERY (emotional healing) our task is
to develop Healthy Adult & Loving Parent
‘good voices’ (ego states).
This combination is
needed to replace the role
of the bad parent in our
head. Our child-part must
be wooed * away from
listening to, believing &
obeying that harsh,
negative point of view.

* In order for that to happen, the good voice must
show up consistently, be truthful, accurate,
valid, and KIND - i.e. prove itself trustworthy!
(See >>>>)

A strong, healthy voice is needed to be a
CHAMPION for the kid’s needs and its right
to feel safe & loved.

BAD
PARENT
↕↕
WOUNDED
CHILD

LOVING
PARENT
 
HEALTHY
ADULT

Our good PARENT/ADULT
‘component’ has 3 over-all
TASKS:

1. To separate the Bad Parent (PP) &
Wounded Child (WC) in order to stop
the child from being relentlessly
subjected to un-loving / un-helpful
badgering!
Internally, you may only hear one or
the other. Even so, the PP is in charge
& the WC has no choice but to submit
& comply.

2. To nurture, guide & take care of
the Kid, both the Healthy & the
Damaged parts of our child. To
have more comfortable & fulfilled
lives, we need to grow the skills &
attitudes which generate self-care.
Even if we were not properly parented
as kids, now as grown-ups we need to
stop waiting for someone else to rescue
us. Even if we can get someone to do
that, it comes with a painful price - it
keeps us from finding out how capable
we really are, it’s humiliating & it
keeps us afraid - what if they leave??

3. To interact efficiently with the
‘world’ in order to get ALL our needs
met - in the healthiest, best ways
possible, given our individual
circumstances & abilities.
D. M. Torbico 2010

The
LOVING
INNER PARENT
☛
can remind both the
Wounded and the
Healthy Child these
contrasts between
past & current
reality

EVEN THOUGH...
...my parents weren’t available to me, I can be
...my parents couldn’t admit that I had needs, I can
...my parents were in denial, I don’t have to be
...my parents couldn’t say ‘I love you’ even when they were sober, I
can admit my love (to self & others), without being drunk
...my parents used alcohol to hide their emotions, I can admit that I
have emotions & I can feel & deal with them in a healthy way
...my parents used alcohol to avoid listening to their ‘still small voice’,
I can sit & listen, even when I’m afraid of what I’ll hear
...my parents didn’t treat me as a real person, I’m learning to recognize
& admit my own worth
...my parents used alcohol to avoid change, I can be open to possibilities
without panic
...I was raised in a home of denial, I don’t live there anymore!

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists