You’ve based your decisions & choices on
your early training, which was incomplete,
inappropriate & often just plain wrong!
That’s not your fault!
Everyone follows their programming.
As a result of this distorted training,
ACoAs come into adulthood with weak
personal boundaries, a deep fear of
abandonment & crippling self-hate.
The nasty ‘Greek chorus” in our head
tells us that we’re unattractive,
unlovable, boring, fraudulent, stupid &
without hope.
The reality is that
we truly are:
Damaged,
NOT Defective
You see, if you were defective - it would
mean that you had been born ‘bad’,
broken, useless. It would be impossible
to expect anything good from such a
person - like cracked china coming out of
the kiln - it gets thrown away.
However, this does NOT apply to people.
Damage CAN be healed.
There’s a saying: ‘God doesn’t make
garbage!’ Every person is valuable - part
of the greater whole & precious to
Higher Power. That includes YOU! You
don’t have to be religious or a believer -
just know that you have worth - even if
your family couldn’t or wouldn’t see it.
Article:
✦➠ ✧ “HEALTHY OPPOSITES :
Change Your Behavior, Change Your Life”
♡ TO ALL ACOAS *
*ACOAS = ADULT-CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLIC, ABANDONING, ABUSIVE, NARCISSISTIC FAMILIES
YOU KNOW HOW YOU’D LIKE
YOUR LIFE TO BE -- right?
A fulfilling career, loving relationships,
less pressure, a little fun... and you’ve
been trying, struggling, obsessing, but not
much has changed. Maybe you’ve become
frustrated & depressed.
You grew up around chaos, addictions,
criticism, rage, depression, neglect &
illness & years of abuse.
You learned to survive by adapting to
what ‘they’ seemed to want, so you
cobbled together a set of behaviors as
best you could, with very little help, which
allowed you to survive - but not thrive.
You became a ‘human doing’ instead of a
human being.
AND, you’ve been dealing with the world
(& yourself) in that same old way ever
since, never quite getting what you need
or want - & alternately thinking that it’s:
a) somehow all your fault, or
b) the universe is against you !
Either way, it hurts!
So, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Well, actions that lead to any type of
success are usually the exact ‘Positive-
Opposite’ of your life-long patterns.
You say you’ve tried to do things
differently, to no avail?
I believe you! Just one problem - you’ve
probably been doing the exact
‘Negative - Opposites’, and with great
effort & sincerity!
You may have swung from isolation to
clinging, from totally goofing off to
workaholism, from poverty to
overspending, from starving to stuffing
yourself, from deprivation to promiscuity,
etc - back & forth, year after year, in a
vicious cycle.
You’ve based your decisions & choices on
your early training, which was incomplete,
inappropriate & often just plain wrong!
by
Donna M Torbico
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists