Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists
1. I acknowledge something terrible happened
- I know it’s not my imagination
2. I’m aware on some level that something
was done to me - I was a victim of sexual
abuse / incest when I was a child
3. I recognize I’m a true survivor, having
chosen life over suicide
4. I recognize & begin to change thoughts of
being ‘contaminated’ & ‘damaged goods’
5. I feel angry about being used & abused
6. I feel rage at my non-protecting parent(s)
(often the mother)
7. I discuss the abuse honestly with therapists
& other healers & groups
8. I tell a non-family member about the abuse
9. I tell a family member who didn’t know
previously
10. I slowly re-experience & deal with emotions
suited to each incident of abuse
11. I begin giving up my belief that I was
responsible for the abuse occurring
12. I’m recognizing that, at the time of the
abuse, my actions & reactions were
appropriate to the situation - it was the
abuser who was not acting appropriately!
13. I’m slowly understanding how the past
molestation has effected my current
relationships & patterns of behavior
14. I’m able to lower my resistance to talking
about the abuse with others, without all
the details
SEXUAL ABUSE
15. I’m dealing with residual guilt if I got
physical pleasure from the any part of the
molestation, and I’m coming to accept the
fact that the human body has natural
responses to being touched, regardless
of the source.
16. If I perceived any aspect of the abuse
as positive (like having special status in
the family), I’m beginning to understand
& accept those childhood feelings
17. I see the connection between the abuse &
my current relationships, & am developing
some control over recreating to those hooks
18. I recognize I have a choice to confront my
perpetrator(s) - or not
19. I’m beginning to see what I want from
relationships now, whether sexual or not
20. I can to enjoy different forms of intimacy
21. I’m developing a sense of self and my
self-esteem is increasing
22. I’m becoming more at ease with the topic
of my abuse & that of others I hear about
23. I know that I can chose to forgive my
perpetrator - or not
24. I’m in touch with my old rage which
used to negatively effect all my
experiences & feelings but it’s no longer
a constant companion, which is a relief
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