HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 

                             PURPOSE of the INNER Parent•Adult•Child*                         

                              This was formulated by Eric Berne in ‘GAMES PEOPLE PLAY‘.  

                     These personae were conceived as conscious ego states which

               everyone has, with their own specific purpose & specialty


      *These 3 states need to be interactive & when working together constitute

       a healthy Ego. They are first & foremost to be used by you for YOU!

INNER CHILD

Background Info


  1. (P)The PARENT  part

        For the survival of the species:

  holds all the lessons learned (of values,

     skills, rules, social laws...)  from which you

     respond automatically to situations. This

     saves time & frees up the Adult part to

     make decisions ‘in the now’


draws from your family experience, your 

    native personality and what you’ve taught 

    yourself - in effectively parenting the next 

    generation (one’s own children, or others

    who are in genuine need)


                                                                      

(A) The ADULT part

        For the survival of the self:

holds the accumulated data of all your 

    experiences.  It is rational, deals with

    reality & lives in the present. It contains the

    process by which we deal with the outside  

    world - to organize, evaluate & do tasks ...


is in charge of regulating the activities of

    both the Parent & the Child parts and 

    intervene between them when necessary -

    to not let the Parent become too rigid,

    controlling, pontificating, nor the Child

    get too out of control, selfish, hurtful...  

 


(C) The CHILD part is made up of

  the ADAPTED* Child

     It is a necessary aspect of the kid - who learns 

     what is expected of it in its particular

     society. It is moulded by every component

     of its environment, everyday of childhood.

     It incorporates the lessons of one’s family,

     school, society & religion. In kids from healthy

     homes, it holds healthy rules & mores


   * For ACoAs, this is our Damaged part, which

     has been programmed to follow the ‘Toxic

     rules’.  It becomes a false self in order to   

     survive, hiding parts of the ‘true self’ so

     deeply we may not even know it’s there.

           Even so, the true self  (Natural Child) can

     show up, although distorted, in our choice of 

     career, leisure activities, tastes, Enneagram 

     number & Myers-Briggs, style of thinking &

     responding to the world, type of addictions....


  the NATURAL Child

     The core essence of your individuality -

     what you were born as, your heredity, all

     native capacities & tendencies. It is the aspect

     which has often been suppressed to the point

     of  being invisible, while the damaged child is

     in the foreground.

     It’s the silent part of the Inner Child which

     often goes unrecognized, unappreciated,    

     unexplored... or is deliberately suppressed !

C
A
P

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

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