HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 
Memo from Childshapeimage_2_link_0shapeimage_2_link_1shapeimage_2_link_2

INNER CHILD

Y Don’t make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values. Y Don’t be afraid to be firm with me - I prefer it. It makes me feel secure. Y Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me act stupidly ‘big’. Y Don’t put me off when when I ask questions. If you do, you’ll find that I stop asking, & look for my info elsewhere. Y Don’t forget that I can’t always explain myself as well as I’d like. That’s why I’m not always clear or accurate.
“MEMO from a CHILD”
Y Don’t protect me from consequences. I sometimes need to learn the hard way. Y Don’t be too upset when I say ‘I hate you’. Sometimes it isn’t you I hate, but your power to stop me. Y Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need. Y Don’t nag. If you do, I’ll have to protect myself by acting deaf.
Y Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me & makes me lose faith in you. Y Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They’re terribly real & you can do a lot to reassure me, if you try to understand. Y Don’t spoil me - I know quite well that I shouldn’t get everything I want - I’m only testing you Y Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early sages. Y Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk to me quietly, in private.
Y Don’t ever suggest that you’re          perfect & don’t make mistakes. It gives me too great a shock when I find out you’re not. Y Don’t ever think it’s beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you. Y Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be hard for you to keep up with me, but please do try. Y Don’t forget that I only thrive with lots of love & understanding. But I don’t need to tell you that, do I? Y Please keep yourself healthy. I need you. Author unknown

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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES +Developmental_Stages_+.html