HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 

   EMOTIONAL (Es)


Having healthy E. Bs is to truly know:

  Es just ARE: not good or bad, but rather - ranging

      from most painful to most joyful

  Es don’t depend on other’s actions, NOW

  good Es come from our own behavior

  our Es do not cause others’ actions

  our Es do not cause others’ emotions

  we’re non-blaming, ie. responsible for ones own Es

  we’re accepting of & self-forgiving for Es we don’t 

     like (jealousy, greed, shame, indifference, rage...)

  • we can have access to a wide range of Es

  • we have control over which Es we express to

     others (to whom & where)

BOUNDARIES  (Bs) - Healthy

COGNITIVE  (C)


Having healthy C. boundaries means: 

   • it’s OK to have some privacy/ secrecy without guilt,

      even in intimate relationships

   we can know and own our opinions & beliefs

   we can think & speak for ourself

   we can teach others to treat us with dignity & respect

   we can stand up for our beliefs, even when we’re in 

       the minority

   that accuracy is more important that agreement, in 

      our communications

PHYSICAL   (P)

 Having healthy P. Bs, we know:
   • it’s OK to move away from or  
     towards someone
   • we can touch & be touched - 
     with discrimination
   • we can give & receive P. comfort
   • we can have self-esteem about 
     our P self
   • the space needed between us &     
      another - which makes us the 
      most comfortable 
   • can stay in our body (be   
      congruent) “I am my body”
   • what is appropriate modesty &   
     openness with ourselves & others
   • can weigh the consequences, 
    before acting on a sexual impulse
   • say 'NO' to food, gifts, touch, sex,  
       ... that we don't want
   • protect physical space from intrusion,  
      invasion or abuse
43SITE_MAP.html

  EMOTIONAL RECOVERY Truth


More is possible than we think, if we truly believe

Our eyes can never see as clearly as our hearts

Wisdom is in hearing & believing our own voice

Help doesn’t always appear in the way we expect or demand

What we think we want may be inferior to what we receive

To want nothing is as selfish as to give nothing

Sharing cannot be real unless we keep enough for ourselves

No one can live our pain or our joy

Second-best may really be just second-arrived

Often we may feel we are walking alone

We are never alone if we know who we are

Aloneness is a bounty from which we choose what we want

No matter who walks with us, no one can walk it for us

No one can tell us who we are

Friends can only stand by while we make our discoveries

Giving is never losing, & giving freely is a semi-circle which

    completes itself in receiving

GOOD BOUNDARIESGood_Boundaries.html

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SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIESSet_Healthy_Boundaries.html
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