HEAL & GROW for ACoAs
 

INNER CHILD

IF a CHILD lives with CRITICISM SHE LEARNS to CONDEMN IF a CHILD lives with HOSTILITY HE learns to FIGHT IF a CHILD lives with RIDICULE SHE learns to BE SHY IF a CHILD lives with SHAME HE learns to FEEL GUILTY
IF a CHILD lives with TOLERANCE SHE learns to be patient IF a CHILD lives with ENCOURAGEMENT HE learns CONFIDENCE IF a CHILD lives with ACCEPTANCE SHE learns to FIND LOVE IF a CHILD lives with APPROVAL S/HE learns to LIKE HIM/HER self IF a CHILD lives with FAIRNESS HE learns JUSTICE IF a CHILD lives with PRAISE SHE learns to APPRECIATE IF a CHILD lives with SECURITY HE learns FAITH
TASKS for each DEVELOPMENTAL CYCLE
“KIDS LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE”
Children need 3 things 1. Attention 2. Autonomy 3. Limits
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5. POWER of BEING SKILLFUL (6 - 12) • try out different ways of doing things • make mistakes to find out what works • argue with others about how to do things 6. POWER of REGENERATION (13 - 19) • experiment with being sexual • develop ones own personal philosophy • find one’s place among the adults 7. POWER of RECYCLING (19 - on) • experience all normal symptoms of previous stages, from time to time • experience overlapping stages
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists

1. POWER of BEING (0 - 6 mths) • to recognize who you are • be taken care of, touched, nurtured • bonding with caregiver, being ‘sensual’ 2. POWER of DOING (6 - 18 mths) • explore environment without thinking • develop sensory awareness, by doing 3. POWER of THINKING (18-36 mths) • test reality, learn to think • establish independence • express negativity, push against others 4. POWER of IDENTITY (3 - 6 yrs) • separate fantasy from reality • test ‘getting’ reality based on results • exert ability to have an effect on others
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