EMOTIONALLY
✬ My good Es come from me liking me
✬ I tell the truth about how I feel (no
manipulations), even when I’m afraid of
the feared or real consequences
✬ My self-esteem comes from solving my own
problems & when necessary, feeling my pain
✬ I’m aware of my true wants & needs
✬ My commitment to ‘Strength, Hope & Recovery’
determine what I do & say, rather than my
‘fear of abandonment’
CO-DEPENDENCE
MENTALLY
✬ My mental attention is focused on pleasing
me, even if or when it may not please you
✬ My attention is on protecting me, even if
that sometimes leaves you feeling unsafe
✬ I verbalize my needs & wants, when &
where it’s appropriate
✬ my dreams for the future are m own,
even when they are not linked to you
✬ I keep my opinions & values, because
they’re the core of me, therefore ‘sacred ‘
INTER - PERSONALLY
✬ Your struggle matters to me because I care for you, BUT it does not control how
I feel about myself
✬ Your actions & appearance are your own business, no matter how it makes me
feel, since you are not a reflection of me
✬ I have no control over your feelings of anger & your emotions don’t determine
my actions, BUT I don’t accept abusive behavior from you
✬ I can be giving because pleasing you makes me feel good - not to feel safe or
put off being scared.
✬ I also want to receive from you - because I have a right to be treated well,
not as proof that you love me
✬ I keep & expand my social circle. I hope you’ll like my friends but if you don’t,
I can accept that
✬ I respect your opinions & procedures, but not at the expense of mine
✬ The quality & value of my life is separate from yours, with distinct boundaries
between the way we live & express ourselves
✬ I don’t tell everything about myself right away or ‘fall in love’ before having
enough information about the other or how we interact
✬ I allow time for friendships & love to develop over time.
✬ I don’t get overwhelmed by your interest in me
✬ I don’t overlook inappropriate behavior
by ACTIONS
✬ I pursue my own hobbies & interests, even when that means spending
some time way from you
✬ I take actions to get my own needs & wants met, whenever possible
✬ Me actions are only determined by my need to take care of myself
✬ When things need to get done, I operate from a position of choice,
of letting go (not controlling) & by trusting Higher Power, especially
when I have to say No to someone else’s needs or wants
Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists
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