WEAK Bs
PHYSICAL -They:
• don’t like being alone
• are unpredictable, undependable
• not aware of their own need for
privacy, so allow their physical space
to be invaded
• stand too close to others, invading
their personal space
• look thru others’ documents, rooms,
drawers, medicine chest...
• barge in, without knocking
• let others touch them, even when it’s
uncomfortable or inappropriate
• imposes on the privacy of others, like
touch other without asking
• personalize everything, & over-react
to the feelings and behavior of others
• let other people influence / effect
their behavior
• overcompensate for perceived errors
in word or action
EMOTIONAL - They:
• are unable to respect the rights of
others (to have different needs
from their own)
• feel everything ‘too much’ & cannot
contain own emotions
• get too close too fast, share too
much personal info, (especially
their faults, before establishing
mutual trust/sharing
• telling secrets (triangulating)
• give too much by being overly
responsible and controlling OR take
too much by being passive and
dependent
• telling others what they should do...
• allow others to define their and take
too much - limits OR try to define
limits for others
• are constantly preoccupied with &
overwhelmed by others' emotions,
needs & problems, (take on as if
their own) & feel responsible for
others' happiness and fulfillment
• sacrifice own wants, needs and
emotions to others’ & let others
determine them
• allow the expectations of others to
define their potential
• ignore their inner voice & rely on
others’ opinions, values & emotions
more than their own.
• expect others to meet their needs
automatically, & when others’ won’t
or can’t - experience depression &
prolonged periods of resentment
(obsessional anger)
• are dependent for their identity &
emotional well-being on what others
think of them -- become chameleons
• compromise values and beliefs to
please others, or to avoid conflict
• feel & act like victims, have no
balance of power or responsibility
in relationships
• blame others for their problems
• have a high tolerance for abuse /
being treated with disrespect - can’t
say no, even when wanting to, for
fear of rejection (abandonment)
BOUNDARIES (Bs) - Unhealthy
RIGID Bs
PHYSICAL - They
• have very predictable behavior
• don’t react outwardly, or under-
react
• have stiff body posture, stoic,
“stone faced”
• are uncomfortable being touched, so
avoid physical closeness & showing
affection, don’t like hugs
• are sexually cold, disinterested, or
have perfunctory sex
EMOTIONAL - They:
• fear abandonment OR engulfment,
so will avoid intimacy (stay too
busy, pick fights ...)
• don’t show or talk about their own
emotions (seem emotionally numb)
• rarely share personal information
• have difficulty identifying their
wants, needs, emotions
• attempt to meet their needs and
wants by themselves
• have difficulty asking for, or taking
help from others, so rarely ask
• appear insensitive to the feelings of
others, aloof and disinterested
• don’t allow themselves to connect
with other people & their problems.
• has difficulty giving to others & are
likely to say no, if the request
involves close interaction.
• have few or no close relationships.
If they have a partner, they have
very separate lives and virtually no
shared social life.
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists