Article: “Healthy opposites”
IT’S HELPFUL TO KNOW:
✶ It’s the YOUNGER part of us (Inner Child)
who is making these negative choices -
as a way to be loyal to our family & their
teachings. This is normal for everyone.
✶ Most people in the world are damaged.
Internally they’re run by 2 main ego states:
the ‘Bad’ voice (Introject) & the wounded
Child. There are other aspects of a person,
like a functioning Adult, but not strong enough
to be truly in charge.
✶ ACoAs tend at first to ‘over-value’ someone/
something and then, when disappointed -
‘under-value’ to the point of rage. We expect
too much of others (the impossible) but don’t
expect what IS possible. We go to the wrong
people for our needs, inevitably getting let
down, like when we were kids.
✶ ACoAs need to develop 2 new ego states
(inner voices); the ‘Healthy Adult‘ that deals
with facts, & the ‘Loving Parent‘ in charge of
nurturing & guidance. They must take over the
responsibility of running our lives, & to care
for our wounded part - away from the ‘bad
voice’ that beats us up
✶ ACoAs can outgrow much of their damage by
being willing to honestly identify the layers &
layers of pain & denial, be willing to gently
correct harmful behavior patterns & utilize as
many forms of support/ information / books /
therapy as possible.
✶ As Healthy Adults, we have to choose what
actually works & what doesn’t - in the present
- rather than what we learned originally.
Staying ‘awake’ for the physical & emotional
results of old patters makes it possible to
change.
DMT © 1998
Gradually correcting distorted
beliefs and changing actions will
create many Positive Opposites:
✧ ability to have fun
✧ be loved by good, kind people
✧ comfortable in your skin
✧ express creativity
✧ feel effective
✧ gain self-esteem
✧ get needs met
✧ improve living & working conditions
✧ have less anxiety
✧ make true friends
✧ smoother relationships
✧ take appropriate risks
✧ trust your judgement /etc
Over time, these changes will add
up, to give you a sense of worth --
permission to be your true self, be
part of the human race & actually
enjoy life!
My Best Wishes to Each of You,
Donna Marie Torbico
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Adult-Children of alcoholics & other narcissists